On Becoming A Spinster: Cat-Lady 101

There are a ton of stray cats in my compound, and the literally crazy cat-lady that leaves food out for these cats isn’t helping to control the cat population. Rumor has it that her garage is piled high with her stash of cat food, and everyday at 5 AM she sets out plates of food and water all across the compound, hidden in bushes so they aren’t easily picked up by the workers or guards. One time, a little kid found a plate of cat food near his house and wanted her to stop putting it there, so he went to talk to her very nicely. She did not take the news well and actually hit him, but I think he ran away before any serious damage was done. Anyway, there was obviously a lot of backlash from this incident so her family assured everyone that she was mentally unstable (although how is that an assurance) and that they would be moving in August. Well, today is July 30th so we’ll see how that goes.

This post isn’t about this lady but I thought it provided some nice background to set up the scene. Either way, I sure hope I won’t end up like her…but that doesn’t mean my life has to be one devoid of cats. A few months ago, a kitten fell into our backyard (which is actually a floor underneath ground floor so it’s not easy for them to escape) and cried for days until my dad found him/her, then promptly released her. After hearing this story, I really wished that my dad had kept this cat since apparently it was pretty cute. I don’t know if he acted on my wishes or some sort of midlife crisis, but he began to take the food that the cat-lady hid and brought it to our backyard, hoping to attract the same cat back into our backyard.

That cat didn’t return, but another kitten did fall for it and ended up trapped just like the first one. It’s been about two weeks since this has happened, and we have been feeding and visiting her regularly. She has orange/brown fur with a white-tipped tail, and two bright yellow eyes. Her mom also comes around at least once everyday, and I think that makes her scream and plead for a way out. One day she did manage to escape, but a few days later she was back, stuck in the same situation as before so we’re not exactly the ones to blame. My dad and I gave her a shower yesterday, and she was pretty darn cute.

All this rambling does amount to something, I promise, as monitoring this cat (we named her LV, but that’s a whole other story that is not as horrendous as the name) has shown me a glimpse into why a cat is considered the pet of spinsters and loners across the world.

A cat is so lazy. LV probably sleeps about 15 hours a day minimum, and she never wants to play or walk around…just sleep. A spinster doesn’t necessarily sleep for 15 hours a day, but there is some activity that shuts her off from the world that makes her AWOL for a significant amount of time, away from society. A cat also gives off a sense of vulnerability that makes you think she wants you, but she really rejects you when you try to give her too much attention. That’s okay though, spinsters should get used to this feeling. Lastly, a cat is so feisty that when she actually behaves you can’t help but feel so proud and loved…but that’s only because you haven’t received any love from her in a long-ass time.

Anyway, I still think I’m more of a dog-person, but if I ever get a cat I wouldn’t be too surprised. Not only would it make me one step closer to becoming a permanent spinster, it gives me an excuse for being one. Although, if I DO get a cat, I’m sure he/she will be one of the few socially competent and adorable cats, in other words, a purr-fect (sorry, I could not resist) representation of his/her owner.

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