Optimism?

As things start winding down for the summer and another semester of college approaches, stress over academic matters will trump a lot of the romantic desires left unfulfilled. However, there will be moments of insecurity, vulnerability and definitely some 倒霉 (bad luck) that await me, so hopefully I will be able to share some of them here.

There really is no plan or bucket list in terms of social interactions this year (specifically I think you can guess what kind of social interaction the spinster is talking about), because I think that’s a little weird. I see where you’re coming from if you’ve made up your mind that the only way tonight will be fun is if you get some cute guy’s number, but personally that’s not how I operate and that may be why I remain a spinster today. Either way, I don’t imagine that will change anytime soon so I’ll just have to rely on my own strategy, which is more like one of having no strategy.

Basically, I think that once I learn to let these things go and just stop worrying, it’ll happen naturally. However, that’s SO much easier said than done and knowing the kind of person I am that will probably never happen, hence…what a vicious cycle. Therefore, for anyone reading this that just had a light bulb go off follow this mindset and you’ll be good. So that’s what I have to work on…and we’ll see how that goes.

Nothing’s set in stone, but for the moments that are worth recording, I will be sharing them here. Stay tuned (or not, if this isn’t really your type of thing or whatever). Seriously though, if you’re in a happy relationship what are you still doing here?

Where the (Right) Advice At?!

I’m excited by the fact that more of you are finding and reading this blog; whether it’s by accident or not I hope you stick around! Also, please feel free to leave a comment, I’d love to hear from any of you to ease the loneliness a bit. Just kidding, it’s not quite that dramatic but still please do make your voices seen/heard!

Now, back to the topic of interest: relationship advice. There are so many love and relationship advice websites/forums/what-not for all ages out there on the web. Depending on your level of interest, you can find a few interesting articles on Yahoo about how to bail out on a bad date early or take quizzes to reveal your ideal suitor. Whatever it may be, there’s something lovin’ (or at least love advice) for everyone.

Well…almost everyone. Maybe it’s because I haven’t done adequate research or something, but for some reason such advice fails to fall in the hands of the spinster. When was the last time you saw a genuinely helpful article about what a person could be missing or an enlightening piece on what guys really, and I mean REALLY look for? (the answer to that question is that there is no answer).

Just as an example, I decided to take it upon myself to google something a spinster would want to know: “How to get a boyfriend”. I hope and pray that I do not suffer from this Google search and that others will not use it against me…like they have done in murder trials where the killer is exposed by tracing their Google search history (“How to commit murder” – though honestly, why would anybody be this dumb?).

Anyway,out of my findings, these two websites provided interesting advice:
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Boyfriend
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/09/28/relationshipstrategies/20-reasons-you-dont-have-a-boyfriend/

Let’s talk about the Wikihow first, literally, How to Get a Boyfriend:

1) Make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend- It’s pointless to go after someone who is already in a relationship!
No shit.

-After 15 more reasonable but not very helpful items –

17) When you do have a boyfriend, don’t cheat on him by dating other boys.
I’ll try to resist the urge.

18) If you don’t have a boyfriend at this point, go back to the top of this article and read the steps again.
NOOOO WHY?!?!

Exactly.

Now hookingupsmart.com: 20 Reasons You Don’t Have a Boyfriend

I don’t want to go over each reason, but I can honestly say that it’s so dificult not to be guilty of a few of these items, let alone any of them. Without any of these “imperfections,” does this girl even have any personality leftover? And can a guy really not handle any of these things…well maybe they’re the ones not worth dating. I better stop myself before I become several of these traits (aggressive, too picky, self-aborbed etc.).

Although, to the author’s credit, she does provide a disclaimer that it’s not likely that anybody will be able to be completely reason-free, which just goes to show how difficult it is to answer a question like “how to get a boyfriend”. I wish I knew the answer, because not only would it make my life easier, I would share it with everyone to help create some love in the world. I’m not saying that relationship advice pertaining to less spinster-y topics are neccessarily better, but for the most part they aren’t as difficult or long-term problems to solve.

That being said, if anybody out there has a valuable piece of information to share or has read something of the like, please make it known! At the very least, I will deeply appreciate such sound advice and will share it with all my spinster friends (I try not to have too many, but what can you say we unite through our pain).

Welcome! Now let’s get down to business.

With a 9-5 internship where little needs to be done, finding something to do with all the time I have is a daily struggle. With too much time comes too many thoughts, and with too many thoughts comes one that has slowly dominated them all: being forever alone.

Even though I’m no middle-aged woman living alone with as many cats as I am old, as sad as it sounds this is a future that I can easily imagine for myself. My past and present have only affirmed my potential as a spinster, and the future does not look bright either.

After struggling with the idea of becoming a spinster for quite some time, I have decided to dedicate a blog to emulate my thoughts on being single (and on relationships but predominantly the former since that is my area of expertise). Instead of focusing on how pathetic this aspect of my life is, I vow to use this blog to assert my independence (or at least I hope to). So for those who are in a relationship, out of a relationship, has never been in a relationship, hopefully you can all find some common ground with my story. Even if my thoughts do nothing but make you feel better about yourself, at least I will have provided some joy to somebody in this world.

I’m not sure what this will become or where this spontaneous idea will head, but at the very least someday I can read these posts and laugh at my own ignorance. However, if you feel very much alone please be reminded that I will be there for you – and if your story is sad enough you may even gain membership to the spinster club that I founded with my friends (but more on that later…)