Musical Influences: Songs for a Spinster Part 1

Songs are often popularized by the fact that they convey a universal idea or feeling to its listeners, and for the spinster, this is no exception. Like everyone else, spinsters are also subject to songs that particularly support their situation or ones that are especially damning reminders for how alone they are. Here is just a brief look at some of the best and worst songs for a spinster or spinster-to-be.

GREAT SONGS FOR A SPINSTER:

1. Single Ladies (Put a Ring On it) by Beyonce

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies
Now put your hands up

Leave it to Beyonce to make being single super cool. What’s more, she’s calling out to all the single ladies to join together, united as one force to celebrate their independence as a single woman. This is one party that only the single ladies are invited to, so for everyone with some kind of significant other you are not welcome! Too bad Beyonce is taken…

2. Somebody to Love by Usher and Justin Bieber

Baby listen, I just need somebody to love,
I don’t need too much, just somebody to love,
Somebody to love.
I don’t need nothing else,
I promise girl I swear,
I just need somebody to love.

Preach it. Although this song puts the spinster into more of a passive position, it’s important to know that even celebrities like Usher and Justin Bieber, who pretty much have everything can still be lacking in the romance department. But then again, their single status does not remain unclaimed for long. Yet, there’s always this song to fall back on.

3. Crave You by Flight Facilities

Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can’t I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone

While not an exact description of the spinster since these lyrics insinuate that the singer does receive some love, it perfectly embodies the fact that the spinster is never loved by the person you want. By the number of rhetorical questions, you can also tell just how desperate and hopeless these pursuits are. The song goes on and on in vain with no solution ever in sight. So true.

4. Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson

 Just me, myself, and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

Please…being single and alone is a luxury, and not everybody is able to afford such a privilege. Everyone out there who thinks this is a sad life? You’re all mistaken because Kelly Clarkson shows how awesome spinsters are. You know what, you probably can’t help feeling lonely when you’re alone but nope that’s not how it is for the spinster. You wish you had the ability to be alone. Weak.

5. I Don’t Need A Man by The Pussycat Dolls

I don’t need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don’t need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don’t need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain’t around
Oh!

THAT’S RIGHT. We single ladies don’t need no man. This is not exactly the most reliable source but it doesn’t really matter, we all know it’s true. It’s time to embrace the spinsterdom and just roll with the punches. Do you feel the support yet? Everyone’s so proud of you, don’t ever change! Keep your head up and stand tall.

Until…Songs for a Spinster Part 2. Stay tuned for the unveiling of five worst possible songs for a spinster to hear. These songs quickly induce tears, causing large amounts of self-pity to flood the spinster banks. More to come shortly!

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